But you know they are flawed, as are all humans, right? And none are even remotely close to perfect. Unless you are still in the infatuation phase of a romantic relationship, in which case they will be, until reality returns. In short, this quote is about observation. Understanding the other person by knowing them very well.
Knowing what they like and dislike. By knowing, you can begin to understand. As you understand, the respect between you grows. As the respect grows, the opportunity arises for appreciation and even love, of the appropriate type for the relationship. Again, nothing will be perfect, but with a common core and a common direction, one can find appreciation and love. Whether it is a romantic pursuit, or a life long buddy, seeing them, warts and all, is important.
In knowing, a decision can be made. What is important is seeing the other person, flaws and all, and still loving the person. That, to me, is what the quote is all about. Love is a choice. One that you can consciously make it every day. There is nothing you can do if someone else does not feel the same way towards you as you do toward them.
They are their own person, and you have no right to force them to feel a certain way, correct? All you can do in such a situation is to allow them to be themselves and be the best person you can be. Perhaps they will change their mind, perhaps the will not.
In either case, you are being the best possible version of yourself that you can be. We expect ourselves to be perfect. We hang the past over our heads, labeling our defeat and putting a name to our pain. Maybe instead of blaming and hating ourselves we need to recognize that two sinful people trying to love one another fully is difficult as hell. In fact, this person will still suck. And this person will do the same for you. So please stop hanging your head. Stop wishing you were someone else, or looking back on past love with regret.
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About the Author. Lisa Firestone, Ph. An accomplished and much requested lecturer, Dr. Firestone speaks at national and international conferences in the areas of couple relations, parenting, and suicide and violence prevention. Follow Dr. Firestone on Twitter or Google. Related Articles. This is sooo spot on!
Ive been reading for ten minutes.. Reply M posses excellent questions.
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