This can bring up issues about your own childhood or your relationship with your parents. Social interactions with friends change due to the demands of caring for your new baby, and your new priorities.
Open communication can help you to address and come to terms these feelings. Many couples adjusting to parenthood find their relationship is enriched and is a great source of strength and support. However, for some couples, relationships can feel unsafe and this can increase at the time of a new baby. If this becomes the case in your relationship, there are a number of services that can help. You can also contact dedicated family violence support services in your local community.
It is important to share the pregnancy as a couple and talk to each other about your feelings. There are issues for both partners during pregnancy, including:. The birth of your child also changes your family situation. It is important to have time to talk about this, because it is part of forming the early family bonds.
For some couples, the transition to parenthood is easy and it strengthens their relationship. For others, it can be a time of tiredness and stress that causes them to become distant and withdrawn.
Becoming parents may also mean there is less time for each other. While some people are happy to make this change, some may feel left out or unloved. Make time to sit down and talk with your partner. Many couples experience uncertainty in their sexual relationship after the birth of a child. Some find that the demands of parenting affect their sexual needs and their lovemaking. It is important for couples to be honest and open about this to avoid pain and misunderstanding.
Resumption of sexual activity after having a new baby is a decision for both of you to make. For women, it may be a good time to talk about when to resume having sex once your bleeding has stopped and you feel comfortable. Gjerdingen DK, Chaloner K. Women Heal. Equity theory and intimate relationships. Social Echange in Developing Relationships. New York: Academic Press; Equity, Marital Satisfaction, and Stability. J Soc Pers Relat. Social role theory of sex differences and similarities: A current appraisal.
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Watch Greater Good parenting videos. Sleepless nights, a crying baby, and all the other demands of parenthood are added on top of everything you were doing before baby came along. Although a joyous time in so many ways, the transition to parenthood can also be incredibly stressful. Stress makes it difficult to be a loving and present partner.
Blaming minor relationship issues on external causes like lack of sleep or baby-induced memory loss can help you keep things in perspective, possibly preventing something small from turning into a big, sleep-deprived fight. You could also try to remember the last time you did something similar and remind yourself that you are both going to make a lot of mistakes during this time.
But it is still important to keep a good perspective. Little time and lots to do may mean you find yourselves taking each other for granted. But a little gratitude could go a long way. Research shows that more grateful people are more satisfied with their relationships , and this might be particularly true during transitional times like having a baby.
Nights out at the movies or late-night dinners are also a thing of the past. Even if you are able to engage in some of your old hobbies together thanks to a babysitter, it still might be worth finding a new hobby the two of you can start together. But there are a lot of solutions to financial problems," she says. One idea is to try living on one salary for six months when you're both working.
Open a separate account for the paycheck you'll be saving. After the trial period, you'll know how you like eating casseroles instead of takeout you may be surprised and how to live on a tight budget. You'll also have a nice savings in case of an emergency for when you do stay home. Realize, too, Peterson says, that even with two incomes, it's highly unlikely you're going to feel totally financially secure when you've just had a baby.
Of course, you also have to consider the real facts of your finances and you may have to make some choices: the big house or the school district? A fancy jogging stroller or a weekend in Florida? Whatever your choices, decide together. And keep in mind that you're probably spending less money in some areas than you used to—such as on movies, eating out, clothes, and vacations. Now that my first baby is 5 and my second is 2, my husband and I have mostly gotten over the shock of new parenthood.
We're not perfect, but I don't think I would want us to be. People become parents when they have children; they don't become different people. This, of course, is both a point of contention and a source of solace. All those things you love about each other—and your flaws—are still there, and now there's a baby, too.
That's called a family. What if, despite your best intentions, your relationship becomes a never-ending snarkfest? Put the following tips into action, says psychologist Tina Tessina, Ph. Ask for specific changes in behavior rather than make sweeping character indictments. Instead of, "You never do anything around here," try saying, "Please buy more baby wipes when you notice we're getting low. Paraphrase what your partner says.
For instance: "You're angry because you think I don't watch the baby enough on weekends. Is that right? Limit your statements to two or three sentences, and give your partner a chance to respond. Avoid going tit for tat. Instead of, "You think I left the kitchen a mess? You left it worse yesterday," focus on how you can solve the problem. Hold hands and look at each other, hard as this may be in the middle of a fight.
By Charlie Sumner and Suzanne Schlosberg. Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn commission. Save Pin FB More. Apologize ASAP after a nasty zinger or false accusation.
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